Clearinghouse Publishers 8

Issue 8: Graffiti

Feb. 10, 2011

Dear Subscriber:

Of our 18 original subscribers, you are one of two remaining who submitted materials regarding Issue 7 on time.

Now that we’ve separated the curds from the whey.

This issue requires two tools for its use: an Xacto knife and a can of beige spray paint.

“Graffiti” is the tag of Clearinghouse Publishers and its affiliates, who have moved beyond self-expression and self-promotion.

Eternal autumn amongst the cultural leaf litter and compost, of thee we sing.

Take care to deface the serial number of the spray can and dispose of in a public trash can.

Clearinghouse extends its gratitude to those responsible for the elegant and imaginative interpretation of Issue 7.

Avoid apprehension by disguising yourself: we suggest a three-piece suit or power suit with shoulder pads.

Untold, unholy, uncleanly, ungodly, unforeseen, unheard of, underwear-less, holiday on no-pants island.

Gouge out the public eye.

Hernan Cortes wrote in his second letter to Charles V, Holy Roman Emperor that fortune always favors the bold.

Those who perform and document the use of this issue will continue to receive future issues, one for each tag applied.

Sincerely,

Dan Nelson, editor

Clearinghouse Publishers 7

Issue 7: Instructions For Use

Dec. 1, 2010

Dear Subscriber:

We regret to inform you that your trial subscription to Clearinghouse has expired. While this does not necessarily mean that you will no longer receive our publications, it is now incumbent upon you to perform a task or series of tasks, and to submit some form of proof of this action on your part in order to remain eligible for participation in this subscription. Instructions for the use of the enclosed issue “Instructions For Use” can be found at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVtzMVSKcgw. In order to ensure that your subscription continues uniterrupted, please submit photographic, video, or audio documentation of yourself using at least one of the pages from “Instructions For Use” to us no later than January 31, 2011, either by mail or to ***********@gmail.com.

We at Clearinghouse realize that, in order to remain at the cutting edge of publishing, the current emphasis on what the forms of culture allow you to do–and not what they are in themselves–must become integral to our editorial philosophy. Whether by the smell of smoke, the feel of soil or ocean, or the whipping of the wind, we are committed to bringing you beyond the page.

Sincerely,

Dan Nelson, editor

Clearinghouse Publishers 5

Issue 5: Official


Click here to see a PDF of the whole issue.

Nov. 11, 2010

Dear Subscriber:

We trust that November finds you richer, due to the special supplement “Bank Notes.” Though the pages of that wee coupon book didn’t have dotted lines, nevertheless they were meant for tearing out and using against the big banks that have all of our family jewels clamped shut in their vaults. Don’t hesitate to buy yourselves something nice, courtesy of Clearinghouse, and think nothing of forwarding, say, 2-5% of your haul to this publisher to defray the costs of our production.

About “Making Things Worse” let us say, with a mixture of regret and excitement, that it not only had its intended effect, but that it produced the first concrete response to these publications from any of our subscribers (kind electronic words notwithstanding).

Since a couple of our subscribers are unknown to us personally, we have gone out on a limb in including them in our mailings. One went so far as to dispatch the police to our offices, in order to ascertain our level of mental stability and to assess whether the contents of “Making Things Worse” were directed at him personally. While we were mortified to have induced a fear for personal safety in any of our readers, we were nonetheless shocked and awed that there remains any power left in art at all. If only we had had the presence of mind to snap a photograph of the officer holding the issue!

The enclosed issue finds us returning to the realms of propriety, and explores the notion of artist as bureaucrat, as ad-man, as consultant, as worker and professional. (To this end, we have asked members of the private consulting firm Imperial Services to contribute to this issue.) Throughout the making of “Official”, the image stuck in the editorial mind was of artist as office worker, for better or worse. As individual toiling in obscurity on small works of no consequence which are brought to the public with great effort and to small effect. Clocking in and out, only without the paycheck.

And, again, the contents of this issue come back to our perception that great ideas flow uninterrupted into one cosmic ear and out the other. We asked our contributors to work backwards from the [tele-]visual presentation of ideas to the ideas themselves, as a way of engaging our readership in the mission of Clearinghouse, which is to incite collaboration, clear the mental cobwebs, and, with any luck, damage some private property.

  • Official was made almost entirely “on the clock.”
  • Official out-bureaucratizes bureaucrats everywhere.
  • Official accepts the fact that art is a business,
    and by the way wants to ask you if you’ve thought about that raise.
  • Official is Xeroxing its ass on company time.
  • Official wants measurements stated to the fifth decimal place.
  • Official breeds sheep in wolves’ clothing.
  • Official wonders why humans spend more time typing up and filing ideas than executing them.

Sincerely,

Dan Nelson, editor

Clearinghouse Publishers 3

Issue 3: Making Things Worse

Oct. 1, 2010

Dear Subscriber:

If this issue had been named in the style of a song title, it might have been called “Worse (You’re Making Things).” And if Clearinghouse had a motto, it might be: “Ideas are a virus–so let’s spread the word!” Within this installment’s rustic pages are grapplings with the matter of the assumption that culture does and ought to improve the human condition. Whether you are a do-gooder liberal lawyer type trying to use the System or Academia to put in practice your theories of intellectual trickle-down economics; or whether you’re an ignorant, prejudiced Nascar fan wearing the bluest of collars howling for an end to white collars trying to legislate behavior, you indeed have a certain measure of respect for the rational, and for that nocturnal emission of Reason: Progress.

You will doubtless notice the capitalized words. This is one of the subtle tricks used for centuries by magazine editors, German philosophers, and stem cell research scientists as the rhetorical equivalent of standing six inches above you with their clean-shaven mugs and politely, sarcastically declining your invitation to see Kyle Busch race in the Emery Healthcare 500 tonight.

Well, as you’ll see in perusing “Making Things Worse: a Journal of the Arts,” we hypocritically and in direct defiance of Reason continue to not only refuse to plug the stream of garbage emitting from the editorial pen as it were, but with this number to aim our cultural septic hose directly at you and your family, as well as at your elderly and incontinent pet, whose shedding and vomiting upon your best furniture and clothing only increase as the years of its miserable longevity wear on.

For we feel it incumbent upon ourselves to attack your high opinion of yourself: we know it’s in there, as much as it is within us. And whether this self-regard be the cause or effect of your hyperactive mentalisms is of no consequence. Just as it is hard to glom, in strolling about the museum, or nodding off in the third act of “Parsifal,” whether the to-ings and fro-ings of humanity’s higher faculties are the symptoms of, or the cure for, a society in decline; so we may remain ever ignorant whether the glazed look on our faces has been cast over the face of the world, mirror-like, resulting in the donut-like land we witness daily; or whether the merciless Design (more Helvetica than Jehovah) of this Age has beaten the fresh, beautiful, childlike faces our mothers gave us into the slack, overleavened dough destined to be ceaselessly underbaked in the 150 degree oven of human endeavor.

May this pamphlet be as bracing as a plunge into the Bay of Fundy in June, and may it stun you for an instant, plucking you from the daily busy-ness, and wash from you the ink of Words and the bluish, saturnine pall of Images. And may you then set it by you, perchance that the Flood should reach your door, that you may wedge it twixt door and jam to keep the Waters out; or mayhaps that, some winter’s eve, you or your offspring are in the path of a chill draft, so you might add it to the fire and thereby warm your flesh to health. But by no means let this rag rot upon a shelf, for you would be better served, should its only employment be to bludgeon your neighbor.

Sincerely,

Dan Nelson, editor

Clearinghouse Publishers 2

Issue 2: Content Management

Sept. 15, 2010

Dear Subscriber:

We hope and trust that you enjoyed your first issue from Clearinghouse Publishers. “Once I Started Talking to the World I Found I Had a Lot to Say” lacked only perforation marks to prove its usefulness as a collection of action words. Everyone knows someone who needs to not only hear, but see the words “Dump the Jerk” in 112 point sans-serif caps, even if that someone is you yourself. Lawrence Weiner has some things to learn from Tony Robbins.

Every bookstore, newsstand, and home in America is filled with non-action words, with the self-satisfied musings and digressions of the human mind. A mind which, when confronted with problems (as in something to solve, not just something to grouse about) is usually content to frame, categorize, itemize, and organize the components of the problem into a neat structure, rather than strike out into the world to wrestle the problem, alligator-like.

“Once I Started…” is a rough attempt to reverse what we all, as pale intellectuals, do every day. There is a flood somewhere in the world, and people are knee-deep in it, actually and really. Our reaction is to take photographs of it, to write columns about it, and to pass legislation about it. The columns and photos are then passed on to the layout department, who choose the right colors and fonts, and intersperse it with ads for the latest bestseller by an upper middle class college graduate’s spiritual journey through the very lands that are now underwater. (Tellingly, when an American wants to go Buddhist, she will go buy books and a yoga mat and blog about her “experience,” rather than simply squatting down in the dirt and doing the work of erasing the self.)

We at Clearinghouse embrace action words as a translation of abstraction into action. It is not enough, either practically or artistically, to simply frame the most elegant re-statement of the real. And so this second issue, “Content Management,” is a continuation of our attempt to deal with this rational diarrhoea, the tendency to produce content, rather than to physically re-organize the world. For this issue, the old artistic products of our contributors have been chopped and cropped, folded and molded, and, crucially, sent away, in the faint hope that some of the poorly-expressed and rough thoughts contained therein might spark the most minute human interaction with our readers. (Yes, laughing counts.) There is nothing we the editors enjoy less than to be ensconced in stacks of dead ideas. Perhaps it is the case that ideas have expiration dates, beyond which they are not a help but a hindrance.

Some of our readers may spy the irony–and therein the kernel–of “Content Management”: that the magazine is but the residue of a process, the forceful answer to the question we’ve been asking ourselves, namely “What do you do all day?” The answer being “We suspend production of things made to last in exchange for processing culture the way water processes stone in the making of a canyon” and not “We erect headstones for ideas and feelings that are transitory and meant to be one movement in an evolving process, thereby extracting their purpose and pulling them from the game, taking them off the field.”

And so on and so on.

Sincerely,

Dan Nelson, editor

Clearinghouse Publishers 1

Issue 1: Once I Started Talking to the World, I Realized I Had a Lot to Say

August 24, 2010

Dear Subscriber:

Welcome to your first issue from Clearinghouse Publishers! Our mission is to bring you the finest collation of various papers marked with various writing implements and inks, sent in divers envelopes, all of which are occupying otherwise valuable square footage in our offices. The family of Clearinghouse magazines is proud to be both America’s finest dispersal device for stacks and boxes of papers taking up space on the shelves and in the closets of our contributors, as well as an indispensable guide to the culture of our age.

We are celebrating, one year ahead of the occasion, our first year anniversary! You have been pre-selected to be one of just 14 subscribers, an exclusive cadre of those who, by genetic lottery and Ptolemeian roulette, happen to be “our kind of people.” As one of the few, you’ll receive such titles as:

  • Content Management
  • Making Things Worse: a Journal of the Arts
  • Nautical Quarterly
  • Bird Fancier

as well as newer, more cutting-edge titles like “Up Yours: a Patriotic Poetry Quarterly,” whose editorial stance is directed as much at you as the general public, despite your position of distinction in the world. If you wish to continue receiving our publications,

Act Now and Pay Nothing.

Or if you wish to halt your subscription or believe your subscription has been in error,

Do Nothing.

Unlike the intellectual luminaries at Adbusters and Harper’s, who would have you replace the dominant ideology with their own middle-class menu, or those fiddling Neroes over at the New Yorker, vying to have the last pithy word in their orchestra seats at the latest performance of The Burning of New Rome on Ice, we at Clearinghouse publish our family of magazines as touchstones that use and misuse modes of speech and materials to spark a discussion. If the sum total of subjectivities is objectivity, as we believe, then together, through these publications, we can reach a reality that is not relative: realativity.

Since they are first and foremost objects, should you receive a particularly thick and sturdy issue, and need to hang a picture on the salon wall, we urge you to consider using that issue to drive the nail, rather than a hammer. Or, after measuring the thickness of the latest issue, you should find it to be the perfect thing to keep a chair from wobbling, then consider it useful.

Sincerely,

Dan Nelson, editor

“Untitled (90-14 Bernstein)” by Donald Judd, I do.

My friend Ariana Jacob did a project called “Art/Life Partners” at the Portland Art Museum where she asked folks to marry the piece of their choice. The piece I chose will be clear from the following–unfortunately I didn’t get to “perform” the ceremony as they had moved the piece into storage.

“Untitled (90-14 Bernstein)” by Donald Judd, I promise to be faithful to you. My relationship with “Untitled (ca. 1967-66)” by Robert Irwin was wild and exciting, it really took me outside of the frame. But that’s not the kind of artwork you marry, and we’re just friends now. You give me—and my books and tchochkies–stability and calm. And even though you don’t do things like wash the dishes, at least I can dry them on you.

I promise to be there for you, “Untitled (90-14 Bernstein)” by Donald Judd. Marriage is all about working together and completing each other. Even though you can sometimes be cold and cerebral, and you often repeat yourself, we all have our faults. I’m messy and impulsive, a little rough around the edges. Maybe I’ve spent too much time with my BFFs, Zorio’s “Colonna” and “Odio”, and Pascali’s “One Cubic Meter of Earth”. When you get a bad review or some art student somewhere scoffs at how pompously your father writes about you, I’ll be there to make you laugh.

I vow to help our love grow into a beatiful old age together. In time, I will become more slick and industrial, while your surface will tarnish and you’ll even start to look a little kitschy, and I will love you all the more for it. And, though your father may not approve of our love, I will try to remove all traces of the human hand from myself, as well as any traces of burlap and dirt, and become part of your minimalist family. And I hope that, although my father is Robert Morris, you, “Untitled (90-14 Bernstein)” by Donald Judd, can become part of my family too.

I pledge to be yours in sickness (say, if you fall out of fashion) and in health (I am beaten over the head with your critical importance), and I will love you for the rest of my artistic life, “Untitled (90-14 Bernstein)” by Donald Judd.

140 Ways To Make a Cassette Unlistenable: Blow Up

Feb. 11, 2006

Peter Nelson
881 Main St. S.
Woodbury, CT  06798

Dear Peter:

I’m an artist currently engaged in a project called “140 Ways To Make a Tape Unlistenable.” The idea is to find as many different–and hopefully spectacular–ways as possible. One of the ways that I’ve come up with is to blow one up with a cannon. Your name was recommended to me as one at the forefront of small-scale demolition.

So this is number 116 on the list, and if you are interested in participating in this project, all that I’ll need is a short letter stating when the tape was blown up, the weather, and any other relevant or interesting details. Proposals have been submitted to an auto wrecker, a building demolition company, and the Niagara Falls Tourism Board, among others; and the gallery showing of the project will take the form of photos, video, audio, sculpture, and letters from participants. Some of the best minds in the art world have worked feverishly freezing, burning, shooting with arrows, and otherwise compromising the integrity of cassette tapes.

I realize you are busy, so I thank you for the time in answering this enquiry at the address stated above.

Best,
Dan Nelson